Object permanence and ADHD — what it is and what to do

Have you ever completely forgotten about something the second it’s out of sight — like a task, an object, or even a person? Many people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) describe this experience as “lacking object permanence.” Object permanence is a developmental milestone, but it doesn’t quite explain the experience of many people with ADHD, who need reminders to bring their attention back to something. 

Still, the “out of sight, out of mind” phenomenon that so many people with ADHD face can be difficult to live with, and can have significant consequences for relationships and daily life. 

In this article, we talk about the concept of object permanence and ADHD — how they relate, how they don’t, and how you can manage the effects of the object permanence ADHD phenomenon.

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What is object permanence?

Object permanence is a cognitive skill that helps us understand that objects continue to exist, even when we can no longer see them. It’s a key milestone in child development. Infants typically gain the skill at anywhere from 8 to 12 months. Recent research shows that it may develop as early as 4 months of age. Babies who don’t have delays in cognitive development start to learn object permanence naturally as part of normal development. That includes babies diagnosed with ADHD later in life.

Object permanence is why games like peek-a-boo or hide-and-seek become fun at around 8 to 12 months. When babies haven’t yet developed the skill of object permanence, it seems like you’re appearing and disappearing before their eyes. When they can no longer see you, they don’t search for you because, in their brains, you no longer exist. But when babies develop object permanence they understand that you are somewhere — just hidden.

For instance, when a caregiver leaves the room, a baby who’s developed object permanence understands the caregiver will return, which builds a sense of security. It lays the groundwork for understanding relationships and continuity. It also helps both children and adults maintain emotional connections even when someone isn’t physically present.

Object permanence isn’t just about objects and people though. It also applies to places and routines.

Do people with ADHD lack object permanence?

There’s a common myth that people with ADHD struggle with object permanence. While it’s understandable that you may have mistakenly believed this if you live with ADHD, it’s not accurate.

People with ADHD don’t lack the cognitive skill of object permanence. And it’s not an ADHD symptom, even in childhood. Babies who later develop ADHD still reach the milestone of object permanence.

What people with ADHD do “have” is a tendency to inaccurately describe their problems with memory as difficulties with object permanence. That’s because life with ADHD can often feel like it’s “out of sight, out of mind.” In other words, if you’re not actively reminded about tasks, objects, or people, it’s easy to forget about them and even forget they exist. But forgetfulness isn’t the same thing as a lack of object permanence.

Imagine that you’re tossing a ball back and forth with your friend. If the friend accidentally throws the ball into the bushes, you might get distracted and start chatting with them about something else, forgetting about the game of catch entirely. This is ADHD-related forgetfulness. If you truly lacked the skill of object permanence, you’d believe that the ball had ceased to exist because you could no longer see it.

What people with ADHD may sometimes face can be more accurately described as problems with object constancy or emotional permanence. They know that objects don’t literally disappear, but they may have a hard time maintaining a connection to them once they’re out of sight.

How does ADHD in adults affect object permanence?

What affects adults with ADHD are symptoms like inattention and distractibility. Inattention is a key symptom of ADHD, especially the predominantly inattentive subtype. Inattention can make it difficult to remember things without being prompted. Although this doesn’t have to do with object permanence, it can lead to an “out of sight, out of mind” effect that feels just as frustrating. 

What affects object permanence in ADHD?

Although ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition, there’s no evidence that people with ADHD don’t develop or have object permanence. Nothing affects object performance in ADHD and there’s no such thing as object permanence ADHD. What there is, is a tendency for people with ADHD to forget things either due to a lack of attention or to hyperfocus on something else.  

The mistaken phenomenon of object permanence issues in ADHD comes from the way ADHD affects the brain, particularly a region called the prefrontal cortex. Differences in this area of the brain, as well as some differences in the way certain brain chemicals communicate and react, can lead to executive dysfunction like impulsivity and poor working memory. This means it can be more difficult to store and retrieve important and relevant information.

Functional MRI studies have found that the brains of people with ADHD have neural networks — the networks that connect different regions of the brain — that are less active. If information isn’t easily present and accessible, it may be forgotten. If reminded, you’d know it was there. This is where the experience of “out of sight, out of mind” comes from for people with ADHD. “Out of side, out of mind” is different from “out of sight and therefore doesn’t exist.”

How does “object permanence” affect people with ADHD?

Just because ADHD forgetfulness isn’t truly indicative of a lack of object permanence doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult to live with. When you can’t remember things without cues, it can cause you to forget important dates and information and fail to follow through. This can cause frustration for yourself and the people around you, leading to problems in your work and social life.

Object permanence in ADHD and relationships

ADHD forgetfulness can affect relationships. You may:

• Forget to stay in touch with a close friend once they move away, even though you genuinely care about them.
• Forget to respond to text messages or calls, leaving others feeling neglected.
• Struggle to maintain emotional connections when someone isn’t immediately present or visible in your life.

Object permanence in ADHD and everyday responsibilities

In your daily life, you might:

• Forget about tasks once they’re out of sight or when you’ve focused on something else. For example, you might start boiling water and completely forget about it the moment you step away.
• Find it almost impossible to keep up with appointments and deadlines unless you have very obvious visual cues and reminders.
• Frequently misplace items as soon as you put them down, especially if they’re stored in special or “out of sight” places.
• Start passion projects or hobbies but lose interest once the tools you need are no longer in front of you.
• Forget about food you’ve purchased after putting it in the refrigerator, leading to it spoiling and going to waste. You might even buy duplicates because you forgot what you already have.

What can you do about “lacking” object permanence with ADHD?

Even though ADHD forgetfulness isn’t a lack of object permanence, that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to live with. The following tips can help you remind yourself of important tasks and people in your life. The most important of these tips is to get ADHD treatment, whether therapy, medication, or both — inattention is a symptom of your condition, and it’s unlikely to go away if it’s left unaddressed.

Use visual cues

Keeping important things visible can make life so much easier when you have ADHD. It’s not that you don’t care about tasks or items. You just need that extra nudge to remember them, and visual reminders can help with that. For example, leaving bills out on your desk instead of hiding them in a drawer may help you stay on top of payments. Or, if you always lose your keys, a hook by the door might save you a lot of frustration.

Another trick is using color-coded systems. Bright sticky notes, a color-coded calendar, or even clear containers for food in your fridge can help you spot what you need before you forget about it entirely. It’s about making sure what’s important is always in your line of sight so it doesn’t disappear from your mental radar.

Experiment with what works best for you. Everyone’s brain is different, so try different methods until you find a system that feels natural. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s progress.

Set reminders — for everything

Reminders aren’t just for big deadlines, they’re for everything. Need to check the stove in 5 minutes? Set a timer. Have an appointment in an hour? Add it to your phone’s calendar, or use an ADHD app. Alarms and reminders can be a lifesavers and help you remember things even when they’re “out of sight” or mind.

Automating tasks can make things even easier. For example, try scheduling recurring reminders for ongoing tasks like taking medication, watering plants, or reviewing your to-do list. Apps and smartwatches are great, but even good old-fashioned sticky notes can work wonders. The key is to make your reminders fit into your routine without overwhelming you.

Enlist help

You don’t have to do everything on your own. And having support can be one of the most powerful ways you can manage inattention. If you live with family or roommates, let them know you might need a little help staying on track. For example, they can remind you about chores or appointments or even help you brainstorm systems that work for both of you.

People who live with you may also be able to gently point out when something needs your attention — like the stove still being on or a task you’ve forgotten. It’s not about relying on them to manage your life, but about having an extra layer of support when things slip through the cracks.

Be kind to yourself

It’s so easy to beat yourself up when you forget something important, but it’s not your fault. ADHD affects the way your brain works, and that’s not something you can just “willpower” your way through. Being kind to yourself means recognizing that forgetfulness and distraction aren’t personal failures — they’re symptoms of a condition.

Instead of blaming yourself when things go wrong, try to reframe your thinking. For example, instead of saying, “I’m so bad at this,” remind yourself, “This is just ADHD, and I’m doing my best to manage it.” Self-compassion doesn’t make the challenges disappear, but it makes them easier to face. 

Need inspiration? Use quotes about ADHD to help you put self-compassion into practice.

Communicate with loved ones

If your forgetfulness affects your relationships with family members and friends, it’s important to maintain open and honest communication. Let the people in your life know that just because you haven’t reached out or followed through on something — and may not — doesn’t mean you don’t care. ADHD makes it hard to keep everything in your head, but it doesn’t change how much your relationships mean to you.

You might say something like: “Sometimes I get caught up in what’s in front of me and forget to check in, but that doesn’t mean you’re not important to me. If you haven’t heard back from me, please give me a nudge.”

Get ADHD treatment

The best way to manage ADHD and its symptoms is to get treatment. ADHD is a chronic condition, and it’s unlikely to go away on its own. ADHD medications, including stimulants, can help regulate your brain chemistry and make it easier to focus and follow through on tasks. Many people find that medication gives them the foundation they need to make other strategies stick.

Therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy for ADHD, can also be a powerful tool. A therapist who understands ADHD can help you build systems, work through challenges, and process the sometimes painful emotions that come with living with this condition. 

Key takeaways

• Object permanence is a cognitive skill that develops in infancy and helps us understand objects and people still exist when out of sight.
• ADHD doesn’t cause a lack of object permanence, but symptoms like inattention and forgetfulness can mimic it.
• Strategies like using visual cues, setting reminders, and seeking professional treatment can help manage ADHD symptoms and the phenomenon of object permanence ADHD.
• ADHD treatment can be effective at improving attention and reducing forgetfulness.

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On Klarity Health, connect with ADHD providers who understand the nuances of your condition and care about your unique path to a better life. You can find providers who offer ADHD therapy and other providers who can help with ADHD medication management if needed. Find an ADHD provider today.